Adoption etiquette

What does it mean to adopt? Well the Webster's dictionary that I have states the definition as "to take (a child of other parents) as one's own child". There are some people out there, however, that have this misconception (or maybe it's just a really bad choice of words) that adoption is like buying a baby. The adoption agency we are using is a non-profit organization, which I think most are but I could be wrong. Non-profit is just that...they do not make money from their services. The money we are giving the agency pays for the work that goes into making up all of our paperwork (dossier), social workers (for homestudies and post adoption check-ups), group training classes (materials used during class and to take home with us), translators and guides in China...etc. The money given directly to the orphanages is used to help run that facility. They have in essence been the child care provider for that child to be adopted. Adoption fees could be compared to the medical cost of biologically having a baby.

My point is that I would like everyone to just be aware of the words they choose when speaking about or asking about adoption. I've heard many scenarios of a person walking up to a mom with her (adopted) child in a grocery store (or where ever ) and asking her how much she paid for her baby. To me that doesn't sound like a pleasant greeting. Other questions referring to having "kids of your own" or does she know her "real mother" are other types of terminology to be reconsidered. For example, when I adopt Melanie she will be my own kid and I'll be her real mother. Yes her biological mother is someone else and I could (conceivably) have a child biologically. Also I won't be referring to Melanie as my "adopted" daughter. She will simply be my daughter. Yes she will be adopted (from China). That part might be obvious. I just felt the need to do my part in educating those I know. More understanding in the world is a good thing.